Whose Line Is It Anyway? Harry Potter Day!
by HaRrY's-HoT101
Summary: Funny, funny. Your favorite characters are doing the funniest TV show. See what happens!
1. Dating Game

Disclaimer: THIS SHOW: I DUNNO WHO IT BELONGS TO, DREW CARREY OR ABC NETWORK. THE CHARACTERS: J.K. ROWLING. DUH. WARNER BROS. OWNS THE PEOPLE WHO PLAY THE H.P. CHARACTERS.  
  
Drew: Hello! I'm Drew Carrey and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway? Harry Potter Day!  
  
Audience: yells, hollers, cheers and whistles  
  
Drew: Tonight's Contestants are:  
  
A books gonna be her husband, Hermione Granger (as played by Emma Watson)  
  
I'm too sexy for my robes, Draco Malfoy (as played by Tom Felton)  
  
Mr. Lighting Head Himself, Harry Potter (as played by Daniel Radcliffe)  
  
And arachnophobic psycho, Ron Weasley (as played by Rupert Grint)  
  
Audience: more cheers and whistles  
  
Drew: That's right it's Whose Line Is It Anyway? The show where the jokes are funny and the points don't matter. Yes, the points don't matter, like how many bottles of gel it takes to style Malfoy's hair (Malfoy slicks back hair and gives a wink) Girls in the audience: whoops and wolf whistles Ooookaaayyyy...onto our first game, Dating Game, this is for everyone.  
  
OK, Hermione will play a bacholerette on a dating show, and the 3 boys will be the contestants. [Harry: old woman who accidentally steps on a roller coaster Draco: New one of the Fab Four on Queer Eye][Ron: bad doctor who tries to tries to not lose his next patient]  
  
Hermione (sounding like a preppy, Valley Girl, pretending to chew gum): Um, like, totally hi bachelor contestants! OK, like, bachelor number one (Harry in woman tone: yes?) if it was like, totally my b-day, like what would you get me? Anything good? Sexy?  
  
Harry: well, m'deary, it would be lovely present, (pulls down safety bar, facing upward) it would be goood! Ahhh!! Ohhhh!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!  
  
Hermione with worried look on face: OK.... Bachelor number two, if we were to go shopping, like, where would we go and like would you be totally honest if I asked if I looked fat in an outfit?  
  
Draco in gay voice: OK, first of all, girlfriend (moving finger in a "don't go there girlfriend" way), I would have to take you somewhere better than Skanks R Us (Hermione outs surprised look oh her face, audience laughs) because that outfit is so last year. And yes, you do look fat in that outfit! (Drew and audience laughs, Hermione, puts on pout, then smiles brightly)  
  
Hermione: I love romantic moonlit dinners. Where would you take me on a romantic date, bachelor #2?  
  
Ron: Well, some place good. A live and bright place, not a dead, boring place. (Pretends to wash hands, then pretends to put on mask) no, no! Live! Liiiiiive! (Puts head on hands)  
  
Hermione: (shocked look on her face) Bachelor #1, if we were to have a one year anniversary, what would be do?  
  
Harry: Well, we could go to a lovely diiiinneerrrr ahhhhhh!!!!! Ohhh (pretends to go upward, then downward) ahhhhhhh!!!! (Put head on shoulders)  
  
Ron: No, NO! (Takes out the shocker thingy) clear (Harry Bulges out eyes balls) CLEAR! (Harry again moves in shocked form, eyes bulged)  
  
Drew: Buzzes buzzer, laughing, audience claps and laughs. A thousand points to Draco for bringing Harry back to life.  
  
Draco: It was nothing.  
  
Drew: Well be right back!  
  
A/N: tell me what you think. I got better material coming, so look out for better laughs! HaRrY's-HoT101 


	2. Weird Newscasters

Disclaimer: ABC network owns the show, JK Rowling owns the characters  
  
Drew Carrey: We're back to Whose Line, where everything is made up and the points don't matter. Yes, the points are like Divination class it doesn't matter. (Audience laughs, contestants nod in agreement) Let's go onto a game called Weird Newscasters! This is for all four of you!  
  
All of them get up, set up 2 stools.  
  
Drew: Ron, you are the anchorman, and Draco is your co-anchor. Draco, you are Ozzy Osbourne on a bad day. (Draco gives psycho look) Harry, you are the sports caster and you are a...oh God...ha ha ha...a Jamaican sex God in the bedroom as you speak (audience laughs, wolf whistles and hollers, Harry gives seductive grin, girls swoon). And Hermione, you are the weatherman, a tough football coach trying to motivate your team for the big game (Hermione puts on scowl) and go when the music starts.  
  
Newscaster's music plays  
  
Ron: Hello and good evening and welcome to the 4:44 news. I'm Arson Carson, and the top story tonight, my red hair just keeps getting more vibrant (audience laughs, drew laughs) and here is my co-anchor with more on this story, Dick Wiener, Dick? (Audience whoops with laughers, so do Drew, Harry and Hermione)  
  
Draco (talking like Ozzy Osbourne No offense to any Ozzy lovers out there): we-we well this if F---ing nuts, I tell you, I try so f---ing hard to do f-- -ing good but all I F---ing get is s---. SHARON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Audience howls with laughter  
  
Ron: Now here's the sports report with Sexy Sam, Sexy?  
  
Harry in Jamaican accent: Well, today man, we gonna win. It's great conditions today. The last game was bump bump in the night (while he says this, he makes a humping motion, audience laughs.) It was rough and dirty, but this time it gonna be a smooth and easy game. (Harry runs over to Drews desk and grabs Drew, and rubs him, Drew moves away, and Harry gets on desk, pretends to hump it, audience laughs, Drew laughs,) Yes dis balls coming, coming, coming, gone! (Harry gets off desk, returns to place) Back to you man.  
  
Ron, with worried expression on face: Interesting. Now onto the weather with Rachel Raper, Rachel?  
  
Hermione with tough look on her face: Now lookie here (points to imaginary chart) this cold front is coming from here and is gonna attack here (points to another spot) But The warm front is gonna smash it up! It will bring heavy showers, real heavy, WE...NEED...TO...PREPARE! NOW GET OUT THERE AND WIN, WIN, WIN!!! YEAH! Back to you, Arson.  
  
Audience and Drew and Harry laugh hysterically.  
  
Ron: Join us again 5:55 news, until then, I'm Arson Carson saying, I need to dye my hair!  
  
Draco: Sharon!  
  
Buzzer sounds, laughing continues  
  
Drew: A thousand points to everyone and a thousand more to Sexy Sam for that wonderful play.  
  
Harry: It was nothin' man.  
  
Drew: All right onto our next game...  
  
Please review the story! Thanks! 


	3. Party Quirks

Disclaimer: Nothing here is mine, except some made up material. 'Nuff said.  
  
Drew: OK, the next game is called Party Quirks! This is again for all four of you. Hermione, you're the host of the party. You will have to guess the people's identity as the game progresses. I will bring the guests in with the doorbell (makes doorbell noise). And...go!  
  
Hermione: Chips here, dip here, vodka here, condoms here, (laughs from the audience), the hot guys will go there (points to imaginary bed, fluffs pillows, more laughs from audience) [doorbell] Oh good, my first hot guy!  
  
Harry walks in, mouth in the way it is when you eat something sour, walks around, puts hands to head, moves back and fourth. Suddenly falls down and acts like he is having a seizure, flops around.  
  
Hermione: Yeah, you do that...[doorbell] Oh good! (Pretends to open door)  
  
Draco walks in, jumping up and down in girlie way. Ready? OK? (He points to Hermione) U-G-L-Y You ain't got so alibi you Ugly yeah yeah, you really ugly! Whoo! Go team go!  
  
Hermione: Ugh! Whatever. [Doorbell] yes!  
  
Ron: runs in Yeah! Party! Whoo! (runs over to draco, shakes him) Yeah lets party! (runs over to "vodka", pretends to swig it) yeah party, drops sown on floor, passed out. 5 seconds later, up again screaming.  
  
Harry goes up to Hermione, drops down again and starts flopping around  
  
Hermione: OK, it's time for you to leave, you fish out of water [buzzer sounds, which means she's correct]  
  
Draco: goes up to camera screams out Varsity, Varsity, Varsity, go! Do what you do, and show 'em what you know! Go Team!  
  
Hermione: OK, that's enough you preppy cheerleader at a game  
  
Drew: she's not at a game, she's...  
  
Hermione: Trying to make the Varsity team! [buzzer], Draco sits down.  
  
Ron: runs over to Hermione, grabs onto her shoulder, Yeah Frat Party rules! Yeah! Uh, (drops to floor again)  
  
Hermione: OK, it's really time for you to go, you, you drunken college guy that passes out after a minute he drinks [buzzer]  
  
Audience laughs, claps  
  
Drew: laughing OK, a million points to everyone, cuz that was the best party ever.  
  
Everyone: laughs, Harry takes drink.  
  
Ron: Frat Party yeah!  
  
Drew laughing, Our next game is...ha ha 


	4. Greatest Hits

Disclaimer: same as last time.  
  
Drew: Our next game is, one of my favorites, Greatest Hits, with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor! This is for Harry, Ron, and Draco. Harry and Ron, you two are going to be doing a commercial for a CD. Draco will be singing them. What I need now is an occupation in which you can easily get hurt.  
  
Audience: Shark hunter! Skydiver! Wrestler!  
  
Drew: That's a good one, Songs of the Wrestler. So guys, you're going to be selling the CD, Songs of the Wrestler.  
  
Harry: We'll be right back to our documentary, Drew Carrey, My Life As A Game Show Host, in a few minutes, but first, boy Ron, do we have an offer for you.  
  
Ron: That's right, Harry. Those big guys you see all the time in the WWF, that's right wrestlers. Personally, I love wrestling, especially Stone Cold Steve Austin. And I loved the music of the 90's when wrestling was really big.  
  
Harry: Really, Ron?  
  
Ron: Yes Really. And boy did I love that song by Lenny Kravitz, "I'll Smack You Down".  
  
(Music of "I want to fly" starts)  
  
Draco: You see, I'm big and strong. I'm mean...oh yeah! And if you mess with me, don't you see Yeah! I'm gonna smack you down! I'll smack you down right away eee yeah yeah eee yeah! Oh! I'll smack you down today! Right away, if you say bad things about me!  
  
Audience claps.  
  
Harry: Ron, don't you just love when wrestling was the biggest thing to watch on TV And one of the biggest music starts was Jennifer Lopez. Here's J.Lo's big 90's hit, "Big Strong Wrestler Man".  
  
("Waiting for tonight" music comes on)  
  
Draco: He's so strong as can be, baby. I pictured us together. His muscular arms, so big and strong, to hold us close together. His 8 pack is as awesome as can be, He's lean and he's fit and it's so lovely. He can crush things like no guy before, what am I waiting for! He's my big strong wrestler man, oh! I'll watch him on TV tonight, Yes he's so strong! Oh! There is nothing wrong, with a big strong wrestler man!  
  
Audience claps, and cheers.  
  
Ron: Beautiful, it makes me want to cry.  
  
Harry: Please, don't. Even now, wrestling is big, especially those models who travel with the wrestlers, to show off. (Guys holler) So here is a hit by Sean Paul, "Those Dutty Lil' Wrestling Hoes" (laughs)  
  
(Jamaican Sean Paul music comes on)  
  
Draco: Yeah man. You see dose dutty lil girls in those shawt mini skirts and you know dat dose girls wanna flirt. Dancin' in dose bikinis all around fo' fun, you know dey wan' some. I want summa dose dutty lil' wrestlin' hoes, cuz everyone knows dat dose girls are so smooth and so fun to you. Dose dutty lil wrestlin hoes, everyone knows that dey want summa you. Showin' off dey boobs n summa they're ass, those girls are hoes, got only horny class. Yeah!  
  
Audience claps.  
  
Harry: I love that song. Now Ron, what would you pay for this lovely set of 50 song, 5 CD set? A very reasonable price?  
  
Ron: Indeed, Harry. How about 99.99?  
  
Harry: That's very reasonable, indeed (laughter from audience) Only 99.99 for this 5 CD set. Call now, and we will throw in our free "Songs of the Wrestler" wrestling mask, for only 10 bucks extra! So call in now!  
  
[buzzer] everyone goes back to their seats.  
  
Drew: A very reasonable price, 99.99. Ninety-nine points to Ron and Harry, and 100 to Draco for, singing. We'll be right back to Whose Line, right after this!  
  
This was much funnier. Please review if I should go on! If you don't review, I'll go on anyway HaRrY's-HoT101 ( 


	5. Scences From A Hat

Drew: OK, we're back to Whose Line. Our next game is Scences from a hat! OK, here's what we do. We get ideas for sketches from the audience and we put the good ones, only the good ones...  
  
Harry: You sure about that?  
  
Drew: Yes, sure. Now, I'll pick them out one by one, and you do them. Simple as that.  
  
Ron, whispers loud enough for everyone to hear: Not as simple as you think!  
  
Drew: Only for you, Ron. OK, the first one is...what the audience is thinking right now  
  
Ron: I bet it is really hard [buzz]  
  
Harry: Wonder if Harry will do the Jamaican thing again (laughter from audience)[buzz]  
  
Drew: worst things to do on a first date  
  
Hermione: Sorry I'm late, my mom just got home from the gym..[buzz]  
  
Draco: I, uh, ran outta money, can i borrow 50 bucks? [buzz]  
  
Drew: Weird movies at Blockbuster  
  
Draco: Drew Carrey's sex life, Caught On Tape! WTF?? [buzz]  
  
Harry: Best of Whose Line Is It Anyway? All Right! [buzz]  
  
Hermione: Ghepetto?: Hmmmm... [buzz] laughter  
  
Drew: Ha ha...Oh god.. What each of you is thinking right now.  
  
Draco: Harry's mind, I wish I looked as good as Draco...[buzz]  
  
Hermione: Ron's mind ................... (laughter)  
  
Harry: Draco's mind Yeah, it's good to be the best bragger  
  
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ  
  
Drew: OK, that was fun. OK, fifty thousand points. Our next game is...  
  
A/N: Thanks to my responders:  
  
blackiebrens : I love the show, too, that's why I did it. I filled your request. :)  
  
Sparrklez13: I know it was a good start. Thanks for being my first responder!  
  
HaRrY's-HoT101 


	6. Props

Disclaimer: same as b 4.

Drew: Welcome back to Whose Line, and our next game is...props! OK, this is how it goes. I give each pair of players a prop(s), and they have to make up things to say of do with them. Harry and Ron, you get this (drew gives them something that looks like a giant leaf/canoe). And Hermione and Draco, you get this (looks like a log bridge). OK, I will buzz when I think you've said enough. And, go!

Harry and Ron walk out, with objects on back. Ron: I really, REALLY hate being an ant. [Buzz]

Hermione and Draco walk out, carrying object like bridge over water. Draco pretends to cut bridge. You will never catch me, Indiana Jones! [Buzz]

Harry and Ron sit on object, and wave hands frantically. Harry: I told it was a bad idea to go river rafting at midnight! Ron: Well, I didn't know. Harry: You never know anything. Why do I listen to you? Ron: Because you're a drunken idiot. [Buzz]

Hermione folds up the object like dynamite and places it in front of her. She pretends to light it and puts hands in ears. Draco comes running by like the roadrunner. Draco: Meep Meep! The object doesn't explode. Hermione goes over to pick it up, and she pretends it explodes. [Buzz]

Harry and Ron come out with object over head. Ron: (in Indian-Brazillian accent) I told you it was gonna rain, but no, you HAD to go look for food, water, and shelter. [Buzz]

Hermione Puts object near her forehead, Draco stands in front of her. Hermione: I don't like you anymore, go away! (lets object fall like a blind) [Buzz]

Drew: OK, I've had enough, get back in your seats. A million, Gagillion points to all of you.

Draco: Wow Drew, you're going all out.

Drew" Yup, that's just me

Ron: Cough cough lier cough cough

Drew:


End file.
